Family and friends

Parents are often concerned for their other children, and how they are feeling. Obviously the parent's grief is so intense that other children are upset just by seeing their parent/s upset. Children of different ages perceive death in different ways. If a child has already had experience of a death in the family, they may understand far more. It is usually better to be as honest as possible. Try to avoid saying that the baby went to sleep, or is being looked after by the hospital. Do try and talk to your children about the baby that died or your child could become anxious and frightened. Our page on childhood bereavement may help you further with this.

Very often, family and friends do not know how to help. SANDS (The Stillbirth And Neonatal Death Society) have excellent leaflets available to help grandparents, fathers, other children and friends.

Loss of a baby within a multiple pregnancy or birth can further complicate what is already a traumatic situation. It may help to speak to other parents who have experienced this type of loss by contacting a befriending service, such as the Twins and Multiple Births Association (TAMBA). All support workers are volunteers and are bereaved parents themselves. You can contact visit the TAMBA website at www.tamba.org.uk